Day 11

Do you feel free with food? When you put something in your mouth, is it because it’s healthy or because it tastes good, or something inside you just wants to fill a hole or an emptiness, or deep down you don’t want to feel something or acknowledge how you really feel?
My ultimate goal is to feel free when I eat food, my minus 6 is the first step towards this goal.

In the past I have eaten for all the wrong reasons, I was unhappy in my marriage and I filled the lack of love I felt with food.  Now I am trying to go back to healthy habits, back to a more conscious way of eating and in order to do that, my being is revisiting emotions of the past, small snippets of my life, and my emotions are coming out, it’s like my body is slowly releasing the pain of my past.

Some of the weight on my body, I feel, is all the pain I have felt or not wanted to feel and It’s time to feel it and let it go with my love and my blessings and my gratitude
I wanna thank my weight, my fat, my bulges, for protecting me for covering me from pain, it’s time now to leave me
I release you 🙏🏼

I find myself crying watching Suits on Netflix when family scenes come up.
I miss my family, I had to break up mine and anyone who knows me knows that I am all about family, I am spending the night tonight with my cousin on my dads side, she admired my dad and I admire her 😍, every year I spend one night with her family when I come to London, it’s become my tradition